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Author Topic: Joke of the Week #9  (Read 3280 times)

Offline Nick Badame Refrig/ACC

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Joke of the Week #9
« on: July 24, 2006, 07:10:49 PM »
Striking Up A Conversation

Two strangers are sitting in an adjacent seats in airplane.

One guy says to the other, "Let's talk. I hear that the flight will go faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The other guy, who had just opened a good book, closes it slowly, takes off his glasses and asks, "What would you like to discuss?"

The first guy says, "Oh, I don't know; how about nuclear power?"

The other guy says, "OK, that could make for some pretty interesting conversation. But let me ask you a question first:

"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff, but the deer excretes pellets, the cow, big patties, and the horse, clumps of dried grass. Why is that?"

The first guy says, "I don't know."

The other guy says, "Oh? Well then, do you really think you're qualified to discuss Nuclear Power when you don't know $#!%?"
Whatever it takes!-GITIT DONE! 
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Offline brojcol

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Re: Joke of the Week #9
« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2006, 04:59:44 AM »
uh...some politicians do it all the time! ;D

(For the sake of board unity, I will not say which ones!)

"Ask yourself this question...Are you funky enough to be a globetrotter?  Well are you???  ARE YOU?!?!

deal with it."            Professor Bubblegum Tate

Offline FloridaCliff

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Re: Joke of the Week #9
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2006, 05:28:02 AM »

I have a meeting tomorrow with a stack of smarta--es.

That joke may come in real handy ;D

1975 GMC  P8M4905A-1160    North Central Florida

"There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded."
Mark Twain

Offline larryh

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Re: Joke of the Week #9
« Reply #3 on: July 25, 2006, 01:58:55 PM »
So true in life and we see it here all the time.
Savvy ponderable:
A cowboy's only afraid of two things:
havin' ta walk,
and the love of a good woman.
"This posting was generated using an environmentally friendly, self contained flatulence generator, therefore no fossils or neutrons were harmed in the creation of this posting.


Offline edvanland

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Re: Joke of the Week #9
« Reply #4 on: July 25, 2006, 02:56:29 PM »
That is so true.  How about this one.
Man forgets his wifes birthday, needless to say she is mad.  She tells him I better see something in the driveway tomorrow morning that will go from zero to 200 in 2  seconds.  Next morning she goes out and finds a bathroom scale.  The husbands funeral is tomorrow morning.
Ed Van
Cornville, AZ

Offline Bosshosssport96

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Re: Joke of the Week #9
« Reply #5 on: July 29, 2006, 05:48:06 PM »
Heres one for you all,sent to me from my old secretary

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.


One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to

You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't
know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch
knows I'm smarter than her.

Offline Busted Knuckle

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Re: Joke of the Week #9
« Reply #6 on: July 29, 2006, 07:22:13 PM »
That's goood! I like it!

Now do ya'll know the difference of a man talking dirty to a woman & a woman talking dirty to a man?

Well when a man talks dirty to woman it's sexual harrassment!

And when a woman talks dirty to a man it $3.95 a MINUTE !!!!!

Busted Knuckle aka Bryce Gaston
KY Lakeside Travel's Busted Knuckle Garage
Huntingdon, TN 12 minutes N of I-40 @ exit 108

;D Keep SMILING it makes people wonder what yer up to! ;D (at least thats what momma always told me! ;D)