Scott in all seriousness use peanut butter on yer snap traps and be sure to smear it deep in the holes! Always works for us! BK
TomCat makes a mouse attractant gel that it says is better than peanut butter. I found it at Wal-Mart with the glue-traps and traditional spring traps. Haven't had any inside yet this season that I know of, but had a B-I-G rat in one of the bays. His poo was gianormous! I cleaned out his hiding places and am looking for signs again. Hoping he's moved on. Interesting he brought in some cedar berries for a snack. My experience is that the spring traps are safest and work best and once you get the current batch under control you have peace for the rest of the season. My only female companion is the dog, so I don't have the "F-factor" to contend with as you do. I hope you get some peace soon and hope you are just joking about selling your bus!
Get the kind with the tiny little metal trigger device in the middle and it catches mice with peanut butter every time.