I usually use filter pliers, similar to channel locks but made specifically for filters. I also punch a hole in the bottom to drain the filter before spinning it off - less mess.
I have the strap type. Always able to get the filter off. It will crush the spin on filter, but you're throwing the filter away anyway. The main trick to getting a spin on filter off is not to tighten to tight in the first place. Just tighten with hand pressure, never use a filter wrench to tighten. Good Luck, TomC