As a hobbyist woodworker, I use a variety of finishes.
Recognizing the difference between stain and topcoat, (stain changes color, topcoat protects the wood), I don't stain anything. I use the wood(s) I want. However, I recognize that oil-based finishes will darken the wood to different extents (a sample board I prepared shows more "ambering" with Waterlox than with Arm-R-Seal). But, I prefer oil-based finishes for their richness, I don't use water-based finishes. Individual choice.
Four-ought steel wool was mentioned for controlling sheen, but as mentioned it must be lubricated. Rather than wool-lube, deluxing compound, rottenstone, I just use paste wax. Each of the elements contains abrasives, the wax does not. I'm partial to Renaissance wax, but Johnson's paste wax from the hardware store will do.
The most recent pieces of furniture were rubbed out with 4-O steel wool and Renaissance wax, gentle pressure in small overlapping circles. That flattens out the final coat of finish (dust motes) and does knock off a bit of the sheen. I've applied finish with the sheen I want (semi-gloss, satin most often), so I'm not looking for dramatic change.
The shine is brought back up to desired level with more paste wax, applied and buffed out with old t-shirt cloth. That's just my training and experience. Works for me, but there's also a thought that if you ask 5 woodworkers how they'd do something, you'll get 10 or more answers.
Arthur
